I’m obviously a big advocate of little to no screen time for children. During the school year, it can be a little more difficult to keep kids off devices when they are used so much in schools. In the summertime, it can be equally difficult to limit screen time because of the lack of structure. Kids want to get up and use their devices in the mornings. In the afternoon, younger children may take naps, so older children get screen time to keep them quiet. Evenings come around and it’s easier to put on a movie while you’re cooking dinner and doing chores. After dinner, we’re tired! It’s nice to just sit down and watch Wheel of Fortune and before we know it, the evening was spent in front of a screen. So, what’s the big deal again? What are the benefits to limiting screen time?
Recently, I read a social media post from someone who had just figured out how to change the passwords on her children’s devices. She was so proud of her discovery, raving about how she woke up to her kids playing with Lego blocks instead of being on their devices. Another reader commented, “Wouldn’t it be easier to just take them away?” Um. My thoughts exactly! When the parent starts sneaking around so as not to upset the kids, the children have gained the upper hand. Time to rein that in!
Why is it so hard to just say, “No?”
Is it because parenting is easier with screens? I mean, if my kids sat and played video games all day, I would not have the remnants of the baking soda-vinegar-bomb that my son figured out how to make all over the side of my house. I wouldn’t have the wooden sailboat and all of its scrap wood components laying on top of my deep freeze. There wouldn’t be scooters, helmets, bikes, sidewalk chalk, hula hoops and who knows what else all over in my garage because there would be no need when you can watch your avatar doing those things on a screen instead! Of course parenting is easier with screens!
I’m here to tell you, though, that if you had children because you wanted an easy job, you’re going to have to think again!
Parenting is not supposed to be easy. Nothing worth having is easy, including a relationship with your children. So, if you’re taking the easy way out by allowing a screen to babysit your children while you scroll through your social media feeds yourself, it’s time for some tough love. That is not good parenting! It’s time to take your life and your family back!
If you don’t believe me, look at the research yourself. Once you weigh the benefits of limiting screen time against the risks of allowing too much, you’ll definitely want to rein in screen time!
Five Benefits of Limiting Screen Time:
- Mental Health—
Did you know that tweens and teens who spend more than one hour a day with screens have an increased rate (nearly doubled!) of depression, anxiety, and suicidal tendencies? (Source) Think about how much time your teen spends on a computer just for the sake of completing schoolwork! It’s definitely more than an hour! With the jump in teen suicides, we need to be calling on the public schools for reform!
If you think the problem is only for adolescents, think again. Pre-schoolers who have more than an hour of screen time are 46% more likely to have angry, uncontrollable outbursts than children who have very little screen time. Did you realize that screen time could be a huge contributor to tantrums? Think about that next time you’re tempted to use screen time and ask yourself if it’s worth it!
- Physical Health—
We know that a limited amount of screen time encourages kids to be more active! And active children have a lowered risk for heart disease, diabetes, fatigue, etc. There is also the element of damaging light that devices emit leading to the belief by some scientists that many of our children will struggle with macular degeneration starting in their 30s! I read one study (I’m sorry. I can’t find the link to it now!) that predicted that over half of this generation of children will go blind by the time they are in their fifties! If that doesn’t motivate you to get control of screen time in your home, I don’t know what will!
- Learning Ability—
Studies have shown that children who participate in more than one hour per day of screen time have lowered levels of curiosity and are less likely to be self-starters and/or independent learners. There is also evidence that higher amounts of screen time exacerbate and can even cause ADD and ADHD. Though there is conflicting evidence about it causing ADD/ADHD, I think we could all at least agree that it doesn’t help. In the fast-paced world in which we live, we don’t need any more factors that could contribute.
By the way, both Steve Jobs and Bill Gates limited screen time for their children. I’m not saying that either one of them should be lauded for their parenting skills, but I think it’s worth mentioning when two technology giants know the benefits of limiting screen time. They obviously know the risks associated with their products and choose not to allow their kids to use them! Gates probably doesn’t vaccinate his children either!
- Better Connections—
Children who have limited use of screen time form better connections with others. My oldest son really liked a girl a couple of years ago. Neither of them was allowed to date, but we knew we weren’t going to stop him from liking her, nor did we want to. If he wanted to talk to her, we made him call her on the phone. Gasp! NO ONE does that anymore! And I think that’s true. It is very rare for someone in his age group to actually pick up the phone and call someone.
But what’s interesting to me is how the tables have turned. Ten years ago, when people found out that we were homeschooling our children, the go-to comment was, “Well, they won’t know how to socialize with others!” I always loved that comment—as if homeschooling meant that we were going to live in a bunker and only come out for our child’s graduation party. In any case, when I’m at the local pizza place and I see four teenagers in a booth, each on her own cell phone texting either someone else or someone sitting right across from her…I kind of think that my son, who is gentlemanly enough to call a girl on the phone rather than texting her, maybe has stronger social skills than his public-schooled peers. Yeah. I don’t really get that comment anymore.
- Self-Confidence—
Tweens and teens with limited screen time also tend to have more self-confidence. I hear about cyber-bullying all the time. Don’t get me wrong—I know it’s legit and that people are MEAN! But I was listening to a comedian one day who offered a very different perspective on cyber-bullying. He said, (and I’m paraphrasing), “When I was a kid, I had to face my bully every day at school. I got picked on relentlessly. Now, kids are whining because of cyber bullying. I think, ‘Really? You can literally turn off your bullies. How is that so awful?’”
Of course, sharing that is not to downplay cyber-bullying; however, it should make us think as parents. We have two choices. We can allow our children to be on their phones and social media in order to participate in that rhetoric and all the pain that goes with that should they become the subject of the bullying; or we can make the unpopular decision to keep them off social media and their phones and prevent almost all forms of cyber-bullying.
I choose the latter and consequently, my kids are more confident. It’s not that they haven’t been bullied. Bullies find a way no matter what. But face to face bullying is easier to put an end to than cyberbullying once it’s happening. Prevention is key!
Now, after reading the benefits of limiting screen time, if you’re thinking of taking the plunge and taking devices away, summer is a great time to do it!
A few things to consider:
- People who understand why they are being asked to do something are much more likely to be agreeable about it. Share some of these statistics with your children! I have shared these statistics with my children so when they complain and grumble about not having screen time (which is much more rare now), I can simply answer, “Because I love you too much.” I don’t expect them to understand today, but one day, they will.
- If you’ve allowed a lot of screen time in the past, it’s going to take some effort to change that. You’ll have to offer some fun things to do instead because chances are, your children have lost a lot of their imagination already! Don’t worry! They can get it back, but they’ll need help and ideas first. Play dress up with them! Or dust off those board games! It will most likely require you to take the time to play with them at first—so prepare for that.
- Kids do what they see. If you’re addicted to your phone, they see that and you won’t get buy-in from them. However, if you make it into a challenge—set your own time limits (I can only check social media after dinner or during naptime, etc.) and ask them to help you stick to them. (Be sure to let friends know that you won’t be able to answer their texts right away and if they needs something immediately, they should call.)
Be prepared to be annoyed—there is nothing more annoying than your children holding you accountable! But we are accountable to our kids. We are responsible for the childhood we give them! So, swallow your pride and allow them to say, “Mom, you’re not supposed to be on your phone.”
You can do this! Remember to set small goals that are attainable for yourself and your children. Instead of going cold turkey, cut your kids’ screen time by just one hour a day, if that’s what will help! I can promise you that this will be a long-term investment with a major payoff. It will help you to be successful in your summer fun challenge because your kids will be more willing to actually participate in the family fun if they don’t have screens calling their names! Get tough and tackle this one! It will be worth it!