It’s February. It’s the time of year when homeschool moms start panicking because maybe they are not teaching their children enough. Are we going to get through the material? Are my children falling behind? Will they test at the same level as their peers? And before long, anxiety creeps in and you’re right on track for a full-blown panic attack.
While I would be lying if I said I have experienced anxiety to this level, I have experienced the stress that comes with homeschooling, and wondering if I’m doing enough. And after homeschooling for a decade, I still stress about it more than I probably need to.
After all, when you’re the person solely responsible for the education of your children, you can’t just “blame the public school system!” It’s a lot of pressure! We just want what’s best for our children and we all want our children to be the smartest.
First of all, please listen to me when I say that wisdom is more important than knowledge. Please remember that as you are teaching your children at home.
My great-grandma didn’t have much of a formal education…and she married my great-grandfather–one of the first men in this country to attend college. He was a learned man, with beautiful penmanship. And she could barely write.
But she was far wiser than my great-grandfather and she was a beautiful person who was absolutely so loving, kind, and generous. Wisdom is more important than knowledge.
That’s rule number one. But I’ve also learned a few other things over the last decade–things that are reassuring to me and, hopefully, to you.
5 Reasons You Can Relax and Know You’re Doing Enough!
- Homeschool Does Not Need to Resemble Public School–
I have said this before, but this is a rookie mistake I see more often than not, and I also learned from the hard way. Homeschool does not need to look like public school! If you wanted your children to learn the way they would in public school, why wouldn’t you just send them to public school and save yourself the work?
The absolute best thing about homeschooling is that it is individualized! It’s not a one-size-fits-all method, nor should it be. The beauty of a homeschool is that every student has an Individualized Education Plan (IEP) and no one has to fit into a cookie-cutter mold of what students should be.
As soon as you can, break free from that thought pattern. This is not public school! Your child does not have to be distracted by the fact that she needs to go to the bathroom, but bathroom break is still ten minutes from now. Your child doesn’t have to spend ten minutes in a line waiting until everyone has used the bathroom before they can get back to learning.
You don’t have to study things your child already knows. You don’t have to give written tests to know if your child understands the material or not. Your day doesn’t have to go from 8:30-3:30. Your child might be done by 10 am and still be learning what she needs to learn.
Don’t try to duplicate public school and stop worrying if your school day looks different than you thought it would!
- Homeschooling Is Just As Much About What They Aren’t Learning–
A few weeks ago, a wise friend of mine who has already raised her children reminded me of this: “Half of homeschooling is about the garbage your children AREN’T learning!”
Oh, how I needed to hear that! Your children aren’t spending half of their days learning things that you need to undo at the end of the day.
You don’t have to deprogram your children when they come home from school. Instead, you can use that time to teach them the things that matter.
Remember that when you’re tempted to freak out about whether or not they are learning enough! I would guess that less than half of what children learn in public school is actually necessary. Imagine how much your children are learning when 100% of the material they are learning at home is important!
- You’re Doing Enough! (Most likely, far more than most public schools)–
Y’all, I was at my friend’s house recently, where her high school daughters were doing “distance learning” and no joke! The girls did NOTHING other than checking into their classes. We went out to lunch at a local restaurant and they checked into their classes and then, checked out and had lunch!
My cousin’s school is in distance learning as well. My aunt was watching him one day, while she was working at home. He turned on his class and proceeded to play video games for the rest of the class time.
Believe me! Your children are learning far more than they would be in almost every public school right now!
Our local public school has had students in person at the elementary level since the beginning of the year and I really commend them for that. But even so, the kids are wearing masks all day, and if you think that doesn’t affect their learning, you’re wrong!
Your children learning at home, not wearing masks, able to think straight and absorbing oxygen at healthy levels, are learning far more than they would be right now in public school! You are doing enough!
- They’re Learning More Than You Think–
Something we often forget is that our children are learning all the time! When you are homeschooling, your children are learning much more than you may realize. They are learning the material you are formally teaching them, yes. But they are also learning by watching you.
If you include them in your work, they will learn life skills. Our children take turns making lunch each day–those are life skills that they don’t learn in public school. They sort the laundry and do other chores. We study the Bible and discuss it! They know what is happening in the world because we are constantly discussing things.
Your child doesn’t need to do worksheets to learn. Talk to your children! Answer their questions! The more they are able to ask, seek, and discover, the more they will learn.
Family activities can be the best learning experiences! Take your family fishing and teach your children the science and biology of fish, ecosystems, etc. Bake with your children and teach them about fractions.
Just utilizing every day moments will teach your children so much more than you even realize!
- Your Children Will Learn Much More in a Relaxed Environment–
I have stressed out with the best of them about homeschooling! Every year, around standardized testing time, I have a mini-freak-out, and every year, my children score quite high on their tests.
And if they didn’t, it would still be okay! I know some homeschooled kids who test quite low on their standardized tests, and yet, are some of the smartest, most well-rounded kids I know! They have life skills and can hold conversations with adults. They are respectful and thoughtful and miles ahead of their peers in many ways.
By the way, there are children who attend public schools who test quite low on standardized tests too…and are just as smart and well-rounded as the homeschooled children I’m speaking of.
Standardized tests are practically worthless.
But since they must be given, use it as a tool to show you what areas you need to improve on…and that’s it!
Don’t fret over them!
The most important thing to remember is that your children will learn much better if you are relaxed. When you stress, they stress. And when you are anxious, they are anxious. When you feel pressure, they feel pressure.
Here’s the biggest secret to homeschooling, in my opinion. Instead of setting goals that are specific to benchmarks and making sure your children are doing a specific amount of work, work to instill in them a love of learning!
If your child loves to learn, your child will succeed! And the best way to get your child to love learning is to make it FUN!
Final Encouragement for Anxious Homeschoolers
You are doing great! I had a colleague once who worked in the public school system her whole life. When my son was very young and I was stressed out about whether or not he had learned enough, she told me something that has stuck with me. “I taught for 30 years and almost every year, we had a few students who were joining us after being homeschooled. It never mattered what their background was or what curriculum their parents had used. Those kids were always ahead of their peers. In 30 years of teaching, I never had one homeschooled student who couldn’t keep up with the pace of the public school. Not one.”
Think about that for a moment.
Your child will be okay! You are doing enough!
My oldest son took an English class at the public school last year. The night before school started, he had a mini-freak-out. He said, “Mom! You haven’t even taught me English! I’m not ready for this class and I’m sure I’ll fail!”
I’m not going to lie. It was a little bit of a punch in the gut for me. (By the way, ironically, my teaching license is in English…but I apparently hadn’t taught him anything!) And I had my own little freak-out. What if I hadn’t taught him enough? If he failed, how would that reflect on me?!
But when he was the student who got the highest score on the first writing assignment of the year, he realized that maybe all these years, he had been learning some things!
His teacher took time out of her schedule to email me to say, “He was so well-prepared for this class. His insights are mature and his thoughts are well-developed. Thank you for sharing him with us this year.”
It was so kind of her to give me that encouragement. Even though I didn’t know how much I needed it, I needed it!
So, if you’re in that place today…You’re doing enough! Your children are learning. Relax and let it be fun! And for the love of Pete, don’t fret about the standardized tests!
Take a deep breath. You’ve got this!
RElated: 5 Things to Know About Homeschooling
