A Lesson on Authenticity | Household of Faith

What God Taught Me About Authenticity Through Scraping My Bench

This week has been a marathon and I have too many projects started right now. I’m under-the-gun to get my projects done before school starts, which I really haven’t planned much for either. I promise to get to it! But I’m a multi-tasker so when I’m doing a project, I pray that the Lord will teach me something through it so I can make more of my time. This time, it was a lesson on authenticity!

A couple of months ago, I started repairing an old bench I built a few years ago. It has weathered its share of snowstorms, rain, and dirt and it shows! I built the bench out of two free chairs; a free desk top; and some free molding. It initially looked great, but with all the rain, the seat of the bench, made out of the desk top, started curling and rotting.

Once I saw that it started curling, I knew that what I thought was a solid wood desktop, actually had a veneer on it that was now peeling apart because of the weather. And it got me thinking…Well, God got me thinking. He was teaching me a lesson on authenticity.

I grew up with extremely astute parents. My mom can spot a lack of authenticity in a person a mile away. She said two things pretty regularly: “If people spend most of their time telling you how great their lives are, they are most likely trying to convince themselves.” And “Some people are rot-your-teeth-sweet.” And by that, she meant that they put on a good show of being kind and sweet, but inside, it’s a different story.

Growing up this way has led me to be pretty authentic. In fact, sometimes, I worry about being too authentic…because not everyone in the world really wants to know how you actually are doing when they ask, “How are you?” (See? How often do we lack authenticity without even realizing it?!)

I definitely learned though, that my mom was pretty much spot on! There are people in my life who are rot-your-teeth-sweet. There are people who are frustratingly disingenuous and are only out to use others in order to claw their way to the top.

A friend recently heard that her neighbor was saying all sorts of complimentary things about her! Great, right? Except that her neighbor really hasn’t even spoken to my friend in the several years they have been neighbors…but it just so happens that her neighbor is trying to sell her house.

There’s that kind of veneer. That is the veneer that comes on the cheap, crummy, particle board furniture you buy at the local discount center. That veneer peels quickly, but what is worse is that there is no substance beneath it. There is nothing of value and often, particle board rots on the inside before it will on the outside.

But then, there is another kind of veneer—the kind of veneer that was on my bench. It was cracked and weathered, but when I started scraping it off, thinking I would find particle board underneath, I was pleasantly surprised to find hardwood! Small pieces of various hardwood edge-glued and joined to make this desktop! It was…pretty!

Those pieces of hardwood looked to me like the pieces of a life. Some pieces were less perfect than others; and there was an inconsistency in shades. The carpenter had clearly used leftover scraps; joined them together; and covered the wood with a solid piece of veneer to make it all look uniform…just as we do sometimes.

Maybe we put up a solid front because we need to be strong to get through it—a fake it til you make it approach. Or perhaps, you’re not comfortable with the imperfections in the hardwood beneath the surface, so you put on your veneer to make it look prettier.

But that veneer will crack and peel when bad weather comes…no different than in life. That veneer will eventually have to be scraped away! And let me tell you…scraping my bench was WORK! It was so easy in some places and so hard in others! Then, after I scraped, I had to sand the glue off.

It’s painful. I haven’t struggled a lot with being real, but at one point in my life, I definitely felt the need to slap a veneer on! I had a baby who screamed day and night for EIGHT.MONTHS.STRAIGHT. If you’ve never lived through that, I am thankful for your sake! It is hard. It is hard on mental health and it is hard on a marriage!

I also, for the first time in my life, received strong disapproval by people whose opinions mattered to me. My parents had loved me unconditionally; but suddenly, there were several other people in my life who didn’t. They were critical, rude, and downright mean. They were particle board, but I didn’t know that at that time. I wasn’t differentiating and realizing whose opinion mattered and whose didn’t.

The veneer became thicker. I just kept adding layers…as though it were armor. I worked so hard to please them and gain their approval, but it never happened.

But that veneer eventually had to crack and peel…and once that peeling and cracking became visible, I knew it had to be scraped off! It was a painful process, but guess what was underneath? Something far better! There is beauty in ALL of the pieces of my life that the Lord, My Carpenter, has assembled! I would do Him such a disservice by covering it up with a crummy veneer!

So, through scraping my bench, I learned a few things about authenticity:

Veneer has its place in furniture, but not in our lives!
God allows the storms and the bad weather to happen in order to crack, chip, and peel that veneer. Otherwise, we might not notice it!
Scraping veneer off comes with pain, blood and sweat. (Literally!—I actually stabbed myself with a rusty old scraper while scraping in 90 degree weather!) But the figurative scraping is painful in different ways and IT.IS.ALL.WORTH.IT!
Make sure that what’s underneath is not cheap, crappy, particle board! If it is, you need to get that replaced! (Jesus can do this for you when you surrender your life to Him.)
There is so much more beauty in sharing a real, imperfect life with someone, than there is in sharing a fake, veneered life! Think about that the next time you’re working so hard to get that perfect selfie; or engineering that perfect story; or trying to sell your house by complimenting all the neighbors you don’t know!

There you have it! The lesson on authenticity that God taught me through scraping a bench! Who knew there were such great lessons to be learned during Project Days? Lessons are actually everywhere and can be learned through anything—you just have to ask the Lord to teach you!