Black Lives Matter: From a White, Conservative Mom

I have been silent for a while now.  While others have told me that silence means I’m a racist, they do not know the condition of my heart.  Racism is a heart issue.  Very few can understand the true motives of someone else’s heart—even those who know us better than anyone else.  So when people try to tell me how I feel, I must take that straight to God. He knows my heart–the good, the bad, and the ugly. I have been silent because I have not wanted to be reactive in making a statement.  First of all, I know many business owners and others who have felt pressured to make some sort of “statement” in regards to Black Lives Matter, George Floyd, police brutality, etc. and consequently, they have made their statements. I’m not great at obeying others spewing orders at the rest of us.

I guess that, to me, is like being “required” to volunteer.  If you volunteer because you have to, your work is no less acceptable than the one next to you who is volunteering out of love; however, God sees the heart of the person next to you and that brings more value to it. 

I never wanted to make a statement because of pressure.  If I said anything at all, it needed to be because the Lord asked me to…no one else.

First of all, I want to share a couple of stories with you.  Initially, I was asked to be a part of a discussion on this topic with other Christian women.  When I replied that I would love to participate, but that my perspective may be different from the expected response, the organizer asked, “Well, what is your perspective?  Because I don’t want to invite you to the discussion if we’re not on the same page.”

With all due respect, doesn’t that defeat the purpose of a conversation?  It became very clear to me very quickly, in this scenario, that only those who thought the same way as the organizer could discuss.  That is a huge contributor to the problem!

Another similar situation that I observed:  One person was posting on her social media from protests.  Another person commented that she listens to Candace Owens’s opinions on this matter, to which she, at first, cordially responded, “Most black people will tell you that Candace Owens does not represent the majority of their population.” 

Okay, so first of all, because Candace Owens does not represent the majority, she does not deserve to be heard?  May I remind you that Abraham Lincoln and Harriet Beecher Stowe also did not represent the majority of their white population, at first, during the years leading up to and after the Civil War?  So, what if they had not been heard because we just wrote them off?

Then, the commenter stated that she thinks it’s important to listen to a different perspective rather than mainstream media on the issue.  This time, her comment was met with a response saying, “I have to politely ask you to stop commenting on my Facebook page because you are making most of my friends feel unsafe.” 

UNSAFE?!?  Because of a differing opinion??!  All the while, the person who is making the original posts is preaching free speech and justice for all!  On a side note, this lady probably made 20-30 posts in the course of a few hours and then said, “We need to stop speaking.  We don’t get to have a voice in this.  We need to just listen.”  Yep.  All you’ve done for the last five days is speak, but you tell me to stop speaking and just listen?

So, it’s hard for me because this is the kind of hypocrisy I see…and what I don’t want to do.  So, I have spent some time observing and planning to remain silent on all of it, until this morning, when it hit me.

I have heard so many people saying, “Black lives matter,” to which someone quickly replies, “Blue lives matter too.”  Then, a third jumps in to say, “All lives matter,” and someone else says, “All lives can’t matter until black lives matter.” 

I saw the “house on fire” cartoon and I agreed as someone reluctantly (for fear of being RIPPED APART!) pointed out that the flaw in that cartoon is to assume that only one house is on fire at a time.  It ignores other social issues like human trafficking, abortion, genocide, and what must feel like the ultimate slapping and spitting in the faces of those who risk their lives to protect us daily.  Someone replies, “Black people are grieving.  We can’t say things like all lives matter.”  Except that all people are grieving something. 

Do you see the root of the problem here? 

On both sides of the issue, people argue, “Our lives matter as much as yours.”  White people can’t say, “White lives matter” without being deemed racist.  They can’t say, “All lives matter” without being deemed hurtful, tone deaf, and insensitive.  The only thing white people are allowed to say right now is that “black lives matter.”  So, why aren’t they willing to say it?

It’s not because we don’t believe black lives matter.  It’s because of the political connotation associated with the BLM movement.  These values of de-funding the police departments and relying on Democrats to “take care of us” don’t align with our values. If we say “black lives matter,” which they ABSOLUTELY DO, most people immediately assume that we stand with the “movement.”  And like it or not, I don’t.

According to the Bureau of Justice, about 93% of black homicide victims were murdered by another black person. This is also true of other violent crimes, with 80% of black victimization coming from another black person.

So, disbanding and defunding the police department?  I’m sorry, but from a logical standpoint, based on facts, that says that black lives DON’T matter!  That says that you’re okay with an increase in violent crime happening, which is going to TAKE MORE BLACK LIVES!  That’s the opposite of what I want to happen!  If you truly believed that black lives matter, then why would you want that?

In any case, most of this back and forth banter happening right now is rooted in selfishness.  “My life matters as much as yours.” 

This morning, I sent my daughter out to the front yard to “push the sign back up.”  We had a thunderstorm with strong winds last night and some of my yard décor blew down.  I watched her push up the sign that stands in our front yard, which says, “You matter.”  I made it a long time ago—mostly because the suicide rates in our nation were rising steadily, but when I saw it today, it made me think.

What if we stopped saying my life matters as much as yours?  What if we stopped saying, “black lives matter; white lives matter; blue lives matter; all lives matter” all of which are rooted in making sure you see me!

What if, instead, we said, “You matter.”  What if we put ourselves aside for a minute and made statements that were rooted in I see you?  What if we acted like Jesus, who said, “Your life matters more than mine.”?  Maybe then we could cut through the politics and refuse to be pawns in their little game.  Maybe then we could start to see that maybe the true problem is an unwillingness to listen by ALL parties involved!