Okay. I love summertime. I love the fun we can have as a family and the warm weather we wait for all year. Going to the beach, the splash pad, and the county fair with my children are usual highlights of our summer. The problem with beautiful, warm weather is that people think they need to wear practically no clothing! I know it’s hot, but dressing conservatively is important in the summertime too!
Today, we went to the beach for our family fun day. My youngest daughter laid out her beach towel next to mine and sat down by me. All of a sudden, she blurted out, “Mom, why are some people only wearing their UNDERWEAR?!” And that is why dressing conservatively is important! Everywhere we go, there are six-year-olds wondering why in the world people are wearing only underwear. Remember that the next time you think about wearing a two-piece swimsuit!
Now, before you think my girls go to the beach in their prairie skirts, let me assure you, they don’t. My daughters wear a one-piece swimsuit with a pair of board shorts for swimming. They often wear a rash guard as well, because one has really dry skin and the other has really fair skin; both of which are affected by high levels of sun.
This is what we feel the best option is for our girls because I absolutely hate when girls have to constantly pull their swimsuits back into place! Our school offers summer swimming lessons at our school’s indoor pool. Every day, the students end the lesson by going off the diving board if they wish. So, they all line up, directly in front of the parent-observation window, and proceed to pull their swimsuits down to cover their behinds. Sorry. That’s neither what I want to see nor what I want my daughters to be doing in front of anyone! Hence the board shorts!
I also have a major aversion to two-piece swimsuits! You can hate me or love me for this, but I absolutely hate when parents allow their daughters, little, big, older, younger, I do not care, to wear two-piece swimsuits.
Now, before you react, I’m not talking about dressing conservatively in a modest tankini swimsuit that covers everything, but just makes going to the bathroom easier. No. That is not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about wearing your UNDERWEAR to the beach!
A friend of mine shared with me that when her daughter was little, like five years old, she allowed her to wear a little two-piece swimsuit, thinking it was no big deal. After all, her daughter was only five. One day, she told her daughter to go get her swimsuit on and my friend walked by her daughter’s bedroom and saw her posing in the mirror in her bikini! She could not believe that at the young age of five, her daughter already was so aware of her body and this two-piece swimsuit was already playing its part in shaping her body image. That swimsuit went in the garbage immediately.
But could it really be that big of a deal? Why is dressing conservatively such a big deal?
Five Reasons Dressing Conservatively is Important:
- Sexualization Happens Whether You Like It or Not—
You guys, have you seen the news? There are disgusting pedophiles everywhere! Why would you take that chance with how you dress your children?
I am not, in ANY WAY, implying that it is a child’s fault because of how she is dressed. First of all, parents should be in control of what the child is wearing. But you know, it’s kind of like posting on social media that you’re going to be out of town for a week, and then being upset that your home was burglarized. It’s not your fault that your home was burglarized, that’s on the criminal; but if you can do something to prevent yourself from being an easy target, why wouldn’t you?
It’s a harsh, disgusting, immoral world and we need to do everything we can to keep our children from becoming an easy target!
- Setting a Precedence—
Are you going to be okay with your daughter attending the beach scantily clad when she’s sixteen? If you don’t want your teenaged daughter wearing an itty-bitty triangle top to the beach with her boyfriend, then you really can’t allow your toddler to wear one to the beach either.
I realize that a tiny little two-piece swimsuit looks a lot different on a toddler than it does on a teenager, but what you allow your child to do now sets a strong precedence for what she will expect to be able to do later on.
After all, how can you really argue with, “YOU picked out a two-piece swimsuit for me when I was little!”
- It’s Biblical—
Dressing modestly is a Biblical principle that I want my daughters to know from a very young age. We talk about inappropriate and appropriate clothing almost daily. After all, this is a Biblical principle!
1 Timothy 2:9-10 “Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments, but rather by means of good works, as is proper for women making a claim to godliness.”
1 Peter 3:3-4 “Your adornment must not be merely external—braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.”
Proverbs 7:9-12 “at twilight, as the day was fading, as the dark of night set in. Then out came a woman to meet him, dressed like a prostitute and with crafty intent. (She is unruly and defiant, her feet never stay at home; now in the street, now in the squares, at every corner she lurks.)”
There is obviously a distinction from early on between how different women dressed. Scantily clad women have been around since Biblical times, and they had a reputation then too.
1 Corinthians 8:9 “Be careful, however, that the exercise of your rights does not become a stumbling block to the weak.”
So many women dress provocatively because they want men to notice them; and yet, they don’t want their husbands noticing others! If you don’t want your husband noticing other women, then why on Earth would you want someone else’s husband noticing you? I love what Beth Moore had to say about this in her Esther study. (By the way, I no longer recommend Beth Moore, as some of her teaching does not align when tested against the Scriptures).
Teenagers are dressing provocatively for the same reasons. They want guys to notice them! Is that the type of attention you want for your daughter?
- It Sets a Higher Standard of Self-Worth—
I want my daughters to know that they are worth so much more than what their bodies can give! I don’t want my teenaged daughter to feel like the only thing she has to offer is her looks and appearance. This starts at a young age, when children learn what is appropriate and what is not. And while you can tell your children what is and isn’t appropriate, you can bet they’re going to learn it by watching what you do!
Are you dressing conservatively?
I hear, “Well, it’s hot!” all the time. You do know that wearing a loose-fitting t-shirt up to your neck is far cooler than wearing a tight-fitting tank-top cut down to your navel right? Loose-fitting cotton clothing is a lot cooler to wear than…spandex. Other people are at the beach too and they have managed to find something appropriate to wear. I think you can too, though I KNOW that finding modest clothing anymore is difficult, we have more resources than ever with online shopping and I am living proof that it can be done.
Once every few months, our small-town movie theater hosts a free movie. It might be sponsored by one of the churches, or another local organization and they usually get a great turn-out because who doesn’t love a free movie? The movie they play is always one that is already out on video and could be rented at Redbox for a couple of bucks. Why? Because you don’t give your best stuff away for free!
Our daughters need to know this too. They are worth so much more than a free viewing that chances are, everyone has already seen! Help them find their worth in Christ from a very young age.
- Body Image is Healthier—
As you teach your daughters that their self-worth is found in Christ, and that their bodies don’t need to be on display, they will have a healthier body image as well.
Our daughters get bombarded with media, magazine taglines, and constant discussions about body shape, size, cellulite, eating disorders, etc. from such a young age! And ladies, you know it never ends! Now, imagine if your daughter thinks that’s where her worth comes from! What happens to a girl who puts her body on display and doesn’t receive the attention she was looking for? Does she have a mature enough brain to think, “Oh, that didn’t work. Maybe I should cover up?” Rarely. Usually, she will think, “Oh. That didn’t work. I guess I wasn’t showing enough to get his attention.”
And, I’m going to make a somewhat controversial statement here, but I think we do our daughters a disservice when we tell them things like, “Guys your age are only interested in one thing.” First of all, there are people out there working hard to raise teenage boys that statement would not apply to, but secondly, what message does that send to our daughters? That if you want to date anyone, you should know that you will not be valued for anything other than your body and what it can give.
No. We need to stop sending that message! We need our daughters to know that the Lord created their bodies to do amazing things and by keeping our bodies healthy, we are honoring the artist Who created them!
On a separate note, modesty is important for guys too! There are things I do not allow my sons to wear either—painted on jeans; JOGGERS—ew. Seriously, whose idea was it for athletic wear to become street wear?!? Athleisure needs to go away now. Is anyone else with me on that?
Women, our bodies do amazing things—things that don’t need sharing on social media or with the world, but should be recognized by ourselves! Teaching our daughters that dressing conservatively is important and to have positive body images and a high value of themselves needs to start with not wearing UNDERWEAR to the beach!
RElated: Self-Absorbed Kids
Love it! My thoughts exactly 🙂 My daughters never wore two piece bathing suits growing up because I didn’t want to set the precedence as you said. I didn’t want them to be comfortable with parts of their bodies showing. I had to make that decision for myself as a young mom. I needed a new bathing suit so went shopping. I tried on a lifeguard orange bikini and it looked GOOD on me (it wouldn’t now! ;-)). As I looked at myself in the mirror, I just had an uneasy feeling. I LOOKED good but I didn’t FEEL good. I had never owned a bikini before and I didn’t buy that one. I never regretted it. My girls, now moms, wear modest suits as do all their kids. Can I say that I’m grateful Speedos for guys are no longer the style? 🙂
ps-One of my daughers used to say, “My body is a temple, not a visitors’ center!’
Oh, Sue!
Can I steal that? SO GOOD!!