I am discouraged today. The arguing, bickering, and downright fighting between my teenage boys is taking its toll on me. It seems like no matter how hard I work at parenting my children, the battles never end. Sometimes, it feels like I have made ZERO progress! I know I’m not alone. So many moms are discouraged…so out of my own discouragement, I want to offer you some encouragement that all moms, especially exhausted moms, need to hear.
A couple of days ago, we had a more intense conflict than usual—so intense that it kept me from sleeping because I was so grieved by my children’s behavior toward each other. First, I know that sibling arguments and fights are NORMAL, but as moms, we also know when the lines of “normal” have been crossed. We’re there.
All the sibling rivalry advice in the world does not help right now and I feel exhausted, disappointed, and discouraged. The morning after the conflict, we had a sit-down, conflict resolution meeting, and all was well. We had a meeting, consequences, and a plan for change all in place. And then, that very same afternoon, it all started again, like we had never done anything in the first place!
The only solution any other moms have given me is that I need a bigger house! Seriously? I should have to MOVE MY ENTIRE FAMILY from our home? That’s the ONLY thing that will help? Uh. Uh.
We are NOT going to have our entire financial situation changed and disrupted in order to buy a bigger home so my kids don’t have to learn to live together! That is discouraging to me. It is discouraging to know that other moms feel that’s what they have to do—that they shouldn’t be able to expect more out of their kids than that!
In any case, that’s when the discouragement set in. I became discouraged at this advice; discouraged that my kids are acting like banshees; and discouraged that I keep teaching the SAME LESSONS and they keep NOT GETTING IT! Do you ever feel that way?
And then I wondered about the moms who are exhausted, and don’t have someone to offer encouragement to them while they’re in these trenches?
Maybe you’re one of those moms—your kids are not yet raised, so they definitely haven’t come to thank you for everything yet and you’re in the trenches with very little support! Or maybe you have lots of encouragement from other moms in your life, but you STILL get discouraged because, well…you’re doing a completely thankless job!
Maybe you’re like me right now—emotionally exhausted and very frustrated by the actions of your kids! We see the good in our kids—it’s definitely there! But we love our kids fiercely enough that when all of that good—all that work the Holy Spirit is doing in them—gets covered by selfishness, it’s ugly and disheartening, to say the least.
Do you ever wonder if God looks down at His own children and thinks the same? How many times has He thrown His hands up in the air and thought, “Well, the only solution is to build a bigger mansion up here in Heaven!?”
Well, ladies! If you’re in that situation, it’s time for you to take control and start speaking truth into your own life! Or, at least let me do it for you right here. Right now.
Encouragement for Exhausted Moms
- Your Best is Enough—
Maybe you’re not the “best you’ve ever been” right now. That doesn’t mean you’re not giving your best. While I was sick, day after day; sleeping on the couch whenever I could; and basically dragging myself through daily life with my kids, I was most certainly not the best mom I’d ever been!
But I was giving it the best I had at that time…and it was enough! I was still able to provide for my children’s basic needs, and I prioritized their spiritual growth. And God gave me the strength to push through a really difficult time in my life, without many people knowing that I was even sick!
Was I the best mom in the world? For my kids—yes. I was. Even when I was not feeling MY BEST, I was still the best mom in the world for them. You are the BEST MOM IN THE WORLD for your kids! Even when you don’t see it in yourself, you are enough!
- Choose Joy—
Your circumstances may not be great right now. Your kids might be really difficult and maybe even incredibly disappointing in the choices they’re making, but that doesn’t have to rob you of your joy!
I’ve probably said this before, (I used to have a great memory, but not anymore!) but when my kids really get to me, I just start singing. Most of the time, I sing hymns—the old hymn “Singing I Go” is the best one for me. It sends the message to my children that hard as they try, they will not steal my joy.
Try to find something to be thankful for in all things…even when it is incredibly difficult…it is there! I just had to get really stern with my kids because of their rude and completely disrespectful behavior toward each other…and now there is silence in my home. I don’t love the circumstances surrounding the silence, but I’m choosing to be SO GRATEFUL for it because it’s better than the bickering I was listening to before!
Choosing joy can be difficult, especially when you’re exhausted. But it also seems more important when you’re exhausted! Look around–there is much to be thankful for.
- You Are Not Alone—
If you ever think that everything I do works every time and that my children never steal my joy…oh boy! If you could be a fly on the wall in my home, you would know that there is no perfect family and CERTAINLY no perfect mom here! My joy gets stolen; I lose my temper; and even with all my work at not being a yeller, I still yell sometimes too.
I get discouraged and angry; frustrated and dismayed. I set my alarm for early and am disappointed in myself when I don’t have the self-discipline to get up! When I do get up early and my daughter also gets up early for “some alone time with Mom,” it frustrates and overwhelms me sometimes even though she is a delight and I’m thankful she still wants to spend time with me!
I love my kids dearly, but some days, I want to be anywhere but here with them! I plan family fun and often, it ends in disaster. And just like you, I get tired of telling them to shut the bathroom light off and pick up their dirty clothes so many times a day, it’s ridiculous.
No, my friend. You are not alone. Your struggle is individual, but not exclusive. We all stand with you, whether others will admit it or not! You’re still the BEST MOM IN THE WORLD for your kids. Don’t forget it! God gave them to you because He knew you would care enough to be here–seeking encouragement when you need it so you can be your best!
- Press On!—
Our children press on. It amazes me how my children will stand their ground over the dumbest things in the world sometimes. How, after a warning, my sons will continue to fight over the littlest things and they would rather both be disciplined than for one to walk away.
How much sense does that make?! But they press on. And that means we have to press on too. Because the battle doesn’t end just because Mom’s exhausted.
But you are strong and capable. Take control! You can rein your day in and turn it around. You’re not going to let your circumstances, or your children, beat you down! Be the strong, confident woman you are—or you once were.
Dig deep! Get out of bed or up off the couch and take back this day! Your children need you to finish the race strong!
- Take it to the Lord—
There are many times that I need to ask the Lord for encouragement. He is so faithful to send it to me! Whether it’s through a friend’s random phone call or email; a kind comment; a Bible passage, or one of my children giving me a genuine hug accompanied by an, “I love you, Mom!” He ALWAYS comes through!
I believe that there are few things that delight the Lord more than offering encouragement to exhausted moms!
If you are really struggling and need some genuine encouragement (I’m not talking social media encouragement here), ask Him! Then, open up the Bible and see what He has for you. You won’t be sorry you did!
After all that, use your story and your struggle to encourage others. It will bring you joy to turn your disappointment into something positive and helpful to someone else! Remember, you’re not alone. Someone else may need to hear the encouragement born out of your disappointment.
Final Encouragement for Tired Moms
Children are a gift from the Lord. They bring so much joy…and so many challenges. I have observed so many moms that have a baby and love the baby stage, but once that baby is a toddler, the mom thinks her job is done…or too hard to keep doing. She then either checks out of parenting altogether, or worse (in my opinion) has another baby!
That is not how life works. Children are WORK! They require so much of our time and energy that without a solid commitment to parenting, burn-out will happen more quickly than anyone realizes.
Commit to yourself and to your family to be the best mom you can be–the mom God knew you were when He gave you your blessings and challenges all wrapped up in a family! Commit to the Lord to finish strong and to take His confidence in you seriously!
Above all, ask God to give the strength to press on! You are strong and capable, your best is enough, so choose joy today and rest well tonight. You’ll need your strength for tomorrow!
RElated: Get to the Root of Sibling Rivalry
