While I truly hope that this pandemic will not last forever, the encouragement in this article will always be relevant because if you’re not going through something difficult right now, you’re probably just coming out of it or just headed into it. So many moms are feeling extra pressure right now, myself included! With hours being cut, lay-offs, husbands working from home, kids at home trying to learn and not kill each other, and then the root of the issue being a threat to our health or our family’s health, not to mention wondering what is happening in our nation as a whole, encouragement for moms is an essential need!
I work a few side gigs regularly to help out with expenses and I have lost almost my entire income. Up until today, I still had one of my side gigs, but today, I found out that my hours will most likely be significantly cut through the summer.
I have spent the last five weeks reassuring my husband that God is our Provider; working extra hard as a mom to make sure that my kids are getting to do some special things so they won’t worry; providing encouragement for other moms to make the absolute best of this time; and reminding my own mom that God has numbered our days as we sometimes frantically try to make sure my vulnerable dad does not get sick. Yet, today, when I found out that I was all but jobless, I panicked a little. And it became obvious that for the last five weeks, I have not actually been trusting the Lord, but instead, trusting in my job. The fact that I had the option to work more as needed was what I was, unknowingly, relying on.
Gross. My God has proven Himself time and time again! He has been so faithful to us through a LOT of ups and downs. He has provided for us through some pretty thin times; restored our marriage; picked up the pieces of a broken family after our foster son left; and brought us a beautiful girl to complete our family. The Lord protected us through risky pregnancies, provided a way for us to move out of an unsafe neighborhood, and continues to restore my health. And I STILL DOUBT?! What is THAT about?
Please tell me I’m not the only one! (Feeling like a loser over here!)
In any case, I often think I have big faith and I can encourage others to have big faith, but when the rubber meets the road, I still falter! It’s so frustrating and while I’m not thrilled to admit that, I have to…because it’s real. And if this mom needs encouragement, other moms probably need it too.
But God. He is gracious and patient and He cares about all of these burdens. He promises to take them onto himself if we will just ask and that He will give us his yoke, which is light.
Yesterday, I was encouraged by this blog post that reminded me, He doesn’t care about these burdens in a “Come back later when I’m not trying to fix a global pandemic” way. He cares about these burdens in a, “You have my undivided attention” way. God is big enough to handle all of it—global pandemic and my little old worries. They are both important to God. It was great encouragement for moms, especially as we model that to our children! All too often, I suspect, I make my kids feel like their worries are insignificant compared to bigger, more important things. (More on that another time, I guess!) I want them to see God in me. I hope I will care about their little old worries the same way the Lord cares about mine!
Moms, please let me offer you some encouragement today!
Five Points of Encouragement for Moms (Pandemic Edition):
- Small Faith Does Not Mean “Bad” Christian—
Satan didn’t even think Jesus was above his traps and temptation. That’s how brassy he is. If you think you’re off limits to Satan because you have strong faith…wrong! Jesus wasn’t even off limits! Sometimes, we lack faith because Satan has slipped in through the cracks and fanned the flame of fear in our lives. Of course, God wants us to just trust Him, but God is also our loving Father.
If it is stormy outside and your child is scared, do you take it personally? Like he doesn’t trust you to take care of him? Most of us are pretty happy to be able to prove to our children that they will be safe, while offering comfort. If we do not take that personally, I highly doubt that the Lord does. I think, instead, He takes our faces lovingly in His hands and says, “I’ve got this,” then holds our hands so we can rest.
That said, we do need to ask God’s forgiveness for our lack of faith! It’s not that you’re a bad Christian if you have doubted or questioned, it’s that you’re human…but humans sin and need God’s forgiveness.
- Holding It Together Doesn’t Equal Strong—
You can duct tape a bumper together and slap it on your car, but it doesn’t mean that it’s strong! On the other hand, if you let a professional put it back together, it will often be stronger than it was before it broke in the first place. It’s the same for us. Sometimes, we work so hard to stay strong and hold it all together, when we are breaking because we think that’s helpful to our families.
It’s like duct taping the bumper in a bad DIY project. We don’t even realize that if we just fall apart for a moment and let God in on all of our big burdens (He knows them all anyway, but He wants us to ask for help!), we can emerge much stronger and be there in better ways for our families. (Let the Professional fix it, and be encouraged when He does!)
- It’s Okay to Share With Your Kids—
There is a balance here. We don’t want our children worrying about money or basic necessities, or their health so I’m not suggesting you share details with your children. But I do recommend telling your older children something like, “There is a lot going on right now and sometimes, I have a hard time trusting God with all my worries just like you. Will you pray for me?”
I will tell you that if you haven’t heard your children pray for you aloud, you are missing out on a great blessing! The most powerful prayers I have heard have come from my children! What a privilege it is for them to pray for their mom. And what a powerful lesson for them—that their mom is humble enough to admit that she’s not perfect, doesn’t have it all together, and needs prayer just like every other human being on the planet!
Being humble and real with your children will not only strengthen your relationship with them, but it will strengthen their relationships with God. It has meant the world for me to be able to encourage my mom in times of need. She is the strongest woman I know…and it is her strength that allows her and propels her to be real.
- Have Grace for Yourself—
God’s grace covers us completely, so why do we think we can’t have grace for ourselves? Of course, this is the time when you want to be the best mom possible! We all want our kids to look back on this time and remember all the extra fun we had; the time we had for art projects and baking; and making a difference for other people during a really hard time in our world.
But we are not all facing this in the same direction either. Some have suffered more loss than others—losses of jobs; dreams of owning small businesses; people you love who have died; losses of plans to retire; and the list goes on and on.
It’s difficult to fill days with joy when you have lost so much. That’s okay! Do you hear me? I mean, really hear me—that’s okay!
Let me encourage you with this: life’s trials lead to life-long lessons—for us and our kids! Resilient kids are built through trials. If you are taking your stress out on your kids—they will be okay as long as two things happen:
- Ask forgiveness—realize what you are doing and that it’s not their fault. Remember the question “Who am I mad at?” Be humble and ask their forgiveness for taking your stress out on them. Kids are way quicker to forgive than adults are. (We can learn from them!)
- Figure out a way to be different—maybe you’re not getting the time you need to decompress. How can you make that happen? Maybe you’re not spending time with the Lord. How can you make that happen? Maybe you’ve lost focus again and need to re-set your goals as the time continues to drag on (There is SO MUCH coming at us right now, that it would be nearly impossible to stay focused solely on our parenting goals!)
- Balance is a Good Thing—
Sure, in our minds (at least, in mine!), we want to have made this time so much fun that our kids will look back on it and remember it as the best time ever! But really think about that. Is that what I really want? No.
I would be mortified if my kids came out of this saying about those who had suffered so much loss, “I don’t know what they’re talking about! This was the most fun I’ve ever had!” Yeah. That would not be what I want. What do you want? Think about it in terms of your family—what do you want your kids to remember about this pandemic?
What I really want is for my kids to have compassion for what everyone is going through right now, but to be able to find the good in all of it too. I want them to come out of this stronger than they were going in. I want them to remember how we came together as a family and as a community. And I want them to remember how we took our burdens to the Lord when we were struggling, trusted Him to care for those who were ill, did what we could to make a difference, re-evaluated our priorities, and had some fun doing it!
Final Encouragement for Moms
Press on, friend! You are doing this! You are doing it amidst uncertainty and you are strong! Maybe you’re not doing everything perfectly—perfection is not expected and truthfully, it will not help your kids get through it any better than the mom down the road who is doing it imperfectly. The most important part is to never give up!
Encouragement for Exhausted Moms
