It is amazing how much bigger the hype around Christmas gets each year. I think we can thank Pinterest and Instagram for adding even more pressure to make Christmas perfect. I mean, are you even a mom if your family doesn’t have matching Christmas jammies? With all the relentless hype, how can we find meaningful ways to keep Christ in Christmas?
I recently listened to a podcast on Focus on the Family, on which Jim Daly said, “Isn’t it just like humans to make Christ’s birthday about ourselves?” Ugh. Home hit.
As moms, we often find ourselves drowning in the stress of choosing the right presents; staying within the budget; entertaining; cooking, cleaning, decorating; and wrapping the gifts “Pinterest-Perfectly.”
Before we know it, we have made Christmas about the appearance of perfection, instead of the authentic perfection that Christ is!
So, how do we put the world aside and focus on the One Who actually put the perfection in Christmas?
Meaningful Ways to Keep Christ in Christmas
- Give, Give, and Give—
Most years, our town holds a “Gift of Giving” event at which children can buy items for the people on their lists for just 50 cents an item. People in the community donate the items, and all the wrapping supplies. The money paid for the items goes directly back to the food shelf.
Parents don’t go into the “store” with their children. Instead, the child gets a personal shopper to help them choose gifts. It is SO MUCH FUN to see the pride in our children’s eyes as everyone unwraps the gifts they chose for them.
There have been some really interesting selections…and that makes for great memories!
Not every town has an awesome program like this, but you can do something similar by allowing your child to choose anything from The Dollar Store for the people on their lists. Don’t coach your child—even if she is very young and wants to choose a toothbrush for Grandma. Seriously, these gifts make Christmas so much more memorable!
And please don’t ever criticize or make a joke about a gift a child gives you! I know, that seems like I shouldn’t have to say it, but I really do have to say it!
If you act as though you don’t like the gift; or you laugh at the gift; what message do you send your child? That his thoughtfulness was way off. Whether you mean to or not, you send the message the his ideas are stupid.
What are the chances that child will want to put himself out there again? Instead, treasure those gifts! If you don’t understand the thought process behind it, ask! You can say to your child, “Tell me why this toothbrush made you think of me!”
If your child was truly being thoughtful when choosing the gift, he will tell you all about it, and your heart will melt. If your child wasn’t being thoughtful and just chose the fastest, easiest thing, that forces him to reflect on that too.
I have not read her book, but I heard Becky Kiser, author of Sacred Holidays, say that she asks her children to make a “Give List” instead of a “Wish List.” I loved the idea!
Our town will not be able to do the “Gift of Giving” event this year, so I immediately challenged my children to make up a “Give List.” They got right to work and are either making gifts for each other, or spending their own hard-earned cash on their siblings.
It has been so much more meaningful!
You probably have a lot more time at home with your children than you have in a while. Why not make some projects together? Our older sons are becoming quite skilled in certain areas and have come up with some great ideas for gifts!
They still need some help—either help getting the supplies they need, or help knowing exactly what to do, but I can tell you, they are making some great hand-made gifts for their family that anyone would be lucky to get!
My 10-year-old daughter has the BEST ideas for gifts! She pays such close attention to people and sees what they like. When I asked her to write a “Give List,” she was done within minutes.
But she still needs a lot of help executing those ideas. That adds more things to do to my plate, but it’s important.
Please hear me: It is important. If you don’t get all your decorations up, or all your cookies made, okay. But children who have the desire to give—to be generous—need your help to do it and it is important!
It is far more difficult to try to instill generosity in children than it is to just not squelch what is already there!
- Don’t Go Overboard with Gifts—
Again, isn’t it just like humans to take the focus off God and put it onto ourselves? What do I want for Christmas? What do you want for Christmas?
We celebrate the birth of Christ—God’s greatest gift—and yet, we send the message that somehow, that perfect gift of Salvation is not enough!
I know that receiving gifts comes from a good place, mostly. If you are the recipient of a Christmas gift, it’s because someone else thought of you and wanted you to know that you are loved…sans the awkward, obligatory gifts that we all give and receive!
So, I’m not saying that exchanging gifts is all bad…but the way parents feel that they have to “go big or go home” is just not okay!
It’s not about what the neighbors are giving and getting. It’s not about what your children’s friends are getting. It’s not even about what your children are getting. It’s about what we already have—JESUS! (And if you don’t have him, and want to know more about this great gift, e-mail me!)
Does the amount of money you spend on a gift actually say anything about how much you love your child? There’s not enough money in the world to correlate with how much I love my children! We must stop this idea that, “If I don’t have the money to get him what he wants, he will think I don’t love him.”
Children are SMART! And my children have known from a very young age that we stick to a budget for gifts. And they don’t feel less loved than their friends are.
In fact, one time, when I was co-coaching my son’s sixth-grade boys’ basketball team, the other coach asked the players, “What did you get for Christmas?” In true fashion, most of the boys on the team had gotten some new video gaming system and games.
On the way home, my son said to me, “I noticed something about the gifts everyone got.” I thought, Oh, here we go! “Oh yeah?” I replied. He continued, “Most of the kids on my team got big, expensive games that they can play…alone. All of my presents were things we can do…together, mostly with Dad.”
I asked him how that made him feel and he said, “Loved.” Because he had parents (especially a dad) who liked being around him.
Time is better than any extravagant gift you could give your child this year!
- Celebrate Advent—
Counting down to Christmas can mean so much more than conquering your shopping list, or how many Christmas movies you can watch on whatever channel is hosting their 25 Days of Christmas movies marathon!
Counting down to Christmas can include an advent Bible study with your children. Moms spend so much time preparing their homes for Christmas, but what about our hearts? When we take time to celebrate advent with our children, we are also taking that time with the Lord ourselves. We need to prepare our hearts in order to keep Christ in Christmas.
Almost every year, we do “The Jesse Tree” as a family. It means so much to our children! Two years ago, we got behind on the days, and then didn’t finish it; and last year, we just didn’t do it at all.
Let me tell you, it made a difference in our home! I failed last year to prepare my own heart, and to prepare my children’s hearts, and last Christmas Eve, when our family was supposed to be enjoying our time together, sharing gifts, my husband and I were in a showdown with our teenage son instead.
I realize that it’s not necessarily only because of not doing our devotions, but I have seen the effects of skipping our family devotions and they are never good!
Reading The Sparkle Box at the beginning of December, or What God Wants for Christmas, which we do the week leading up to Christmas, are also great ways to prepare your children’s hearts for Christmas. These are especially great for young children!
Whichever one we choose, this year, we will definitely be doing our Advent study and preparing our hearts for Christmas!
- Don’t Emphasize Santa—
Some Christian families choose not to include Santa at all in their Christmas celebration. That’s a fine choice. However, we have found that for some, this actually puts more emphasis on Santa!
Children don’t understand why everyone else gets a magic present, but they don’t. They don’t understand why everyone else gets excited to go see Santa, etc. so the focus turns to what the children are missing out on, instead of putting the focus on Jesus.
In our family, we allow our children to believe in Santa, until they ask if he’s real, because we do not lie to them. Our oldest son flat-out asked when he was four years old, so he knew early.
But we have never allowed Santa to be the star of the show. When our children asked Santa for something at Christmas time, they were only allowed to ask for something small because, “Santa had a lot of gifts to give and we need to be thoughtful of all the other kids too.”
So, each year, Santa gives our children the smallest gift they receive, rather than the biggest.
When I was growing up, my parents didn’t make a big deal of Santa either, and instead of a big gift, Santa gave us each our own box of our favorite sugar cereal for Christmas! (We only ever got to have sugar cereal at my grandparent’s house, and we rarely saw them, so this was EPIC!)
Whether you choose to include Santa in your Christmas celebration or not, children should know the true story of St. Nicholas. Like it or not, they will be bombarded by Santa Clause at Christmas time, so knowing that the tradition was really rooted in generosity, and not the greedy gimmies, can be really helpful!
Final Tip for Focusing on Christ at Christmas
My final tip is so important and easier said than done. DON’T PROCRASTINATE! I know I’m a procrastinator, so I set early deadlines for myself. My goal is to have ALL of my shopping done by Thanksgiving. I want to have ALL of my decorations up, and a good portion of my gifts wrapped by December 1.
This way, I have the time to help my kids make gifts; bake cookies for the neighbors; and do all the costumes and decorating for the Christmas program at our church. I have time to help others, and pray for others. I have time to host others in my home and help my daughter’s friends make gifts for their family members.
These are the things that keep my heart in the right place…and the things I want my children to remember! They will never remember all the gifts they got. Half the time, they don’t even remember that year to year. But they do remember the time spent together; the family traditions that we make important, and most importantly, that Christmas is about Christ and not about us!
RElated: Gifts for Teen Girls That Won’t Break the Bank; Gifts for Teen Guys Under $30
I love this, Wendy! So very important, especially in today’s world 🙁 Thank you for the reminder <3