I got brave tonight and I asked my children, “How can I be a better mom to you?” I haven’t gotten any straight answers yet, but the first answer out of my son’s mouth was, “You can give your kids an allowance.” It was one of those, “slightly joking, mostly serious” comments spoken with a smirk. Obviously, my teenager knows that I firmly believe kids should not get an allowance; however, what do you think?
While I can understand why a teenager would think that my giving an allowance would make me a better mom, this is an area in which I need to know my audience and not give in to my children’s opinions.
To give an allowance or not to give an allowance to kids has been a question among parents for decades. There are arguments on both sides of the issue. Some parents pay kids for their work because adults get paid for work at their jobs. Other parents believe it’s a great tool to teach money-management skills. Then, there are parents like me, who believe that we do not, by any means, get paid for every.single.thing we do—especially, when it comes to home-maintenance–and neither should our children.
We already live in a money-driven world and very few people are willing to lift a finger to help someone else out without expectation of pay. I just don’t want that for my children. I think they can go shovel our elderly neighbor’s driveway because they are gentlemen and…well, decent human beings.
There is value in hard work. I believe that kids should learn how to complete tasks, offer help to neighbors, and help out maintaining the home they live in without expectation of compensation. Get real for a moment—you pay your child better than ANY employer they have!
Howtoadult.com stated, “From the dollars for diapers and wipes that seem to pile up during the early years to educational expenses, leisure time activities and other costs that relate to an older child, the U.S. Department of Agriculture — in its 2011 report titled, “Expenditures on Children by Families” — notes that parents will spend an estimated $169,080 to $389,670 from birth through age 17.”
Um…if that’s true, you are paying your child an average of nearly $10,000 a year (on the LOW END) just for blessing you with his presence! The kid can do some chores!
Aside from that, there are several other benefits for kids to gain from not being given an allowance.
Top Five Reasons Kids Should Not Get an Allowance
- Kids Learn to Work for Money—
My sons have been doing odd jobs for years now. They have found ways to earn money since they were very young! They have sold lemonade, art, and my favorite, night-crawlers. Yep. They pooled their lemonade stand money to buy a shipment of night-crawlers. I know I already told this story; but the shipment was “faulty” and we had a tote full of dead night crawlers. If you ever feel the need to dry-heave until you pass out, get yourself a tote full of dead night-crawlers! When the company asked if we’d like a refund, or a new shipment, we took the refund on that one! They ended up with a great story for their children though!
Mosquitoes have eaten them alive while they picked wild blueberries to sell to save up enough money to buy unicycles; sold hot chocolate in May because it was that cold out; farmed pumpkins; picked sticks and garbage for people when they were six years old; and now that they are teenagers, they have more “sophisticated” jobs like helping lay drain tile, hoeing fields, mowing lawns, and babysitting.
My oldest son had no problem getting a job at a retail store, even with a lot of competition, because he has been building his resume since he was six! Had we been giving him an allowance, there would have been no need to build his resume!
- Being Part of a Family Comes with Responsibility—
What would you do if your husband refused to do anything around your home because he didn’t get paid? Or, if you stay at home with your kids, but refuse to wash dishes, laundry, or maintain your house because you aren’t getting paid? Yeah. That wouldn’t work!
Well, ladies, we are raising someone else’s spouse! The earlier our children realize that being part of a family comes with responsibility, the more likely they are to have a successful family life as adults. Of course, children will not take pride in a home that they did not have to pay for, and one day, when they do purchase a home or something else of their own, they will take more responsibility for it. For now, they learn by watching us!
- Kids Learn the REAL Value of Their Work—
I’m just going to say it. Teenagers think their work is worth FAR more than it actually is! My mom has spent years managing teenage workers and it just gets more and more frustrating. Most of them think they should walk in, with no prior experience, and get paid a CEO’s salary for standing around texting all day.
Kids need to learn that they are at the bottom of the totem pole when it comes to jobs. They need to earn low wages for scrubbing toilets. It keeps them humble and it forces them to actually EARN their wage. Of course, no one should take advantage of or mistreat them, but kids need to learn that in the real world, you don’t just waltz into a job and get paid for providing their AMAZING presence! Let’s stop teaching them that!
- Kids Learn the Value of a Dollar—
My sons are still learning this. What helps is when they have a job that pays $6/hour, let’s say for raking yards, to say, “Okay, if you want to buy that, you’ll have to put in X hours once you take out your tithe and your savings from your paycheck.” This way, they can think, “Is it worth raking pine needles for 10 hours?”
- Kids Have Something to Complain About—
Kids should also learn to work for very little pay because that way, when their own children are complaining about not getting paid for their work, they can say, “You think that’s bad? Let me tell how it was when I was a kid.”
What we do for our children now, affects generations of children to come. EVERYONE needs to be able to say, “I had it way worse” to their children—so don’t make life too easy!
Final Thoughts on Allowances for Kids
These are just five of the reasons I choose not to give my children an allowance. One day, when they have children of their own, they might understand…or they might choose to do it differently and that’s okay too!
You might choose to do it differently than I do and that’s okay! You have different children than I do and you definitely know them better than I do. If you feel your kids should have an allowance, that is completely up to you. There is no such thing as a one-size-fits-all solution to ANYTHING when it comes to parenting! We just have to keep working to be the best moms we can be—teaching our children the values that are important to us! Onward!
RElated: Life Lessons We Can All Learn From My Parents
