I have a lot on my mind and I’m struggling to stay focused on anything but that. Meeting a deadline is the last thing I want to do right now, with crawling into bed being the first! It has been a long, exhausting day filled with a lot of what one might consider emotional stress. And I’m learning to trust the Lord in difficult situations filled with a lot of unknowns. These situations teach me the most about not only trusting God with my life, but letting go and trusting God with my children.
Years ago, I was listening to the old hymn, “The Old, Rugged Cross” in the car and I remember being so deeply convicted. “So, I’ll cherish the old, rugged cross, til my trophies, at last, I lay down.” I asked myself, “What are my trophies?” I mean, sure, there was the 8th grade spelling bee champion trophy, a few earned from piano competitions, and a marginal number of random awards, but nothing really worth mentioning. I do not have a lot of Earthly possessions of any value. “What are my trophies, Lord?” And then it hit me. My children. My children are my trophies.
I had to think long and hard about laying my trophies down at the foot of the cross. What if God asked me to actually lay my trophies down in order to cling to the cross? What would that look like? And there I sat—in my car—so incredibly convicted that I had made my family into an idol! I knew that I needed to lay my trophies down and commit to trusting God with my children.
Nothing has tested my faith in God more than losing our foster son. He was my son—if only for a moment—and I have no idea where he is or how he is being treated. I don’t get to know that my son is being loved, or learning about God, or even being cared for. Instead, I have to remember that he is God’s child first and that God loves him far more than I ever could imagine loving him. God will take care of my son, even though I can’t. So, it boils down to, Do I trust God with my children? Or do I not?
Every once in a while, another situation arises that really tests whether or not I am letting go and trusting God. Our children keep us humble as parents so there have been many times that I have had to trust that the Lord is sovereign. And He always comes through! Even still, fear and doubt can creep in quickly and it’s pretty disappointing to see how small my faith truly is. But God is sovereign. He knows all of it. He sees the hearts of my children and if I mean what I say when I ask Him to fill in the gaps, then I better say, “Thank You!” when He does!
The problem is that He usually handles things differently than I would like him to. Sometimes, when the Lord steps in to discipline, it’s a humbling experience for the parents.
A gal who attended the same church as me once said, “I always prayed that the Lord would bring my children’s sin to light.” For her, that meant a teenage pregnancy for her daughter. That’s humbling as a parent. But her daughter walks with God now and isn’t that the ultimate goal? It’s easy to pray, “Lord, fill in the gaps,” but it’s more difficult to trust His methods.
It’s also more difficult to ask Him to bring sin to the light—because even as Christian parents—in fact, maybe especially as Christian parents—we still have pride. And poor choices made by our children still reflect poorly on us, whether they ought to or not. So, are we willing to put that pride aside in order for our children to learn hard lessons? It’s definitely not easy!
Five Things to Remember when Letting Go and Trusting God:
- Sin is sin is sin—
Sometimes, our children disappoint us. Sometimes, our children sin publicly and our pride takes a big hit as parents. I have been completely mortified in public by my children’s behavior at times. But I need to remember that just because my sin is more private, doesn’t make it better, or less sinful. Sin is sin. In fact, sometimes, it’s worse when sin is only in the heart for God to see because it’s easy to stay in it and not deal with it.
Just because you don’t see the crabgrass growing underneath the soil, doesn’t mean it’s not there choking out your fruit. Weeds that grow in the open can be pulled more easily than those that are not visible. And at the end of the day, they are all weeds doing the same damage to the same fruit.
Also, I have disappointed and embarrassed my own parents. Why is that so easy to forget? It’s because my parents demonstrated true love—keeping no record of wrong. When they forgave me, they truly forgave me and they haven’t kept reminding me of all the ways I have disappointed them.
- They’re Not Really Mine—
Boy, this one is hard! This is where the rubber meets the road. There is nothing that will force you to ask yourself, “Have I surrendered this child to the Lord?” like sending your child in for a major surgery; or later on in life, sending your child out in a vehicle.
Last winter, our oldest son had a snowmobile to use that he has been working off. I will never forget the day that he jumped on the snowmobile (with permission) and drove to a neighboring town to meet friends. Whoa. I was slapped in the face with, “Do you trust God with HIS CHILD?” I imagine I will go through it all over again when he gets into a vehicle and drives away for the first time.
- Surrender—
I read an article written by a homeschooling mom a while ago. I wish I could remember the source so that I could give credit where it is due, but it was a site I stumbled upon accidentally. In any case, something she wrote struck a chord with me.
She was talking about how her youngest child had graduated, and as she was packing up and going through all of the homeschooling materials, she couldn’t help but wonder, “Did I do everything I needed to? Have I failed my children with all these things that I wanted to teach, but never got to?” And then she said, “But the harder I strove to do everything perfectly, the more convicted I was that I did not fully trust God.”
Whoa. That was convicting. I have always had the mentality to, “Pray like it’s all on God and work like it’s all on you.” That’s what I try to do. But that statement forced me to focus on what my heart was saying. Let’s just say that’s something I need to work on.
- Don’t Make Your Family an Idol—
As I listened to “The Old Rugged Cross,” and I realized that my children were my trophies, I realized that I had really made my family my idol. I actually think that may be one of the biggest sins among Christian moms. Do we put our children ahead of our Savior? I’m not accusing anyone here, but I think it’s worth taking a look into your own heart—just between you and God. For me, I know there are times that I do this.
It’s never intentional. In fact, it all comes from a good place of wanting what’s best for my children and loving them fiercely. But the road to Hell is paved with good intentions, right? I really need to be wary of this!
- God Loves Your Children Better Than Anyone Else—
Sometimes, when something is really weighing on me—any type of difficulty that my children are going through—I forget that God cares more about it than I do! Truly, how comforting is that?! When we need to lay things down and surrender our children (DAILY!), we must remember that God cares even more about what is troubling our children than we ever possibly could!
He’s got this! He will handle all of our problems today and He will do a far better job than we could!
There is something freeing about surrendering your child to God. Being able to say, “Lord, she’s Yours and I trust You!” takes a lot of the pressure and focus off yourself. This is pretty much the definition of letting go and trusting God! It’s not easy, but it is essential.
Truthfully, I know this is a lot to think about! I had a whole different post ready to go, but God had other plans. I want to be honest about the work He’s doing on me! I’m a work in progress, but that’s right where I need to be. Progress, not perfection!
Letting go and trusting God is not easy. It will never be easy, but I’m thankful that I can trust God in His sovereignty and deal with the gross sin in my heart that convinces me that I know better than He does! I know! What a ridiculous idea!
“So, I’ll cherish the old, rugged cross ‘til my trophies at last I lay down. I will cling to the old, rugged cross and exchange it one day for a crown.” Keep pressing on, friend!
RElated: Five Points of Prayer
