Yesterday, I was supposed to have a “Girls’ Day” with my oldest daughter. She had an appointment and because of state regulations, no one else could go in with her, so I didn’t bother to bring my other children along. We had planned to do her appointment, lunch, and a little shopping before we came home and make it a fun day for just the two of us. I don’t get time alone with her very often. All was going well after her appointment and lunch. And then, we received a few lemons that could either ruin our day completely, or make the day a memory that lasted forever. It was an exercise in making good memories from a crummy situation.
We came out of the restaurant, ready to hit a few stores. I put the key in the van door to unlock it, and the van went into panic mode. It was honking like crazy…and of course, there were people sitting outside of the restaurant as they waited for seating. Great. I pressed every button I could, at least twice, and that thing would not stop honking. I started the van. Still honking! I even drove the van and it still wouldn’t quit! Finally, after a long five-ish minutes, it stopped. We thanked God!
We drove to a nearby store and I noticed that the automatic locks didn’t work so I assumed that must have been the cause of the alarm going off. I told my daughter to just manually unlock the door and as soon as I opened my door. HONKING!! Another five minutes of my van being in panic mode in a parking lot! All eyes were on us—not the kind of spotlight I really wanted—and all I could do was laugh. I mean, I could have cried, but that wouldn’t have accomplished anything!
No one worried that I was stealing the vehicle because I’m sure the look on my face said, “Oh. I’m not stealing this piece of junk. I’m the VERY LUCKY owner!” I loved my sweet daughter’s response, “Well, it’s a good thing no one knows us in this town…but they’ll probably remember us!”
After all that, we decided to try one more time to get out of our psycho van. Apparently, I’m a total glutton for punishment. This time, I pulled around to a back parking lot with no other cars. I mean, if it went off, people would hear us, but they wouldn’t see us right?
By this time, I thought my door caused it, so I told my daughter to get out. And…nope. MORE HONKING! I was looking all over in this van at what buttons to push to make.it.STOP, when I turned my head to the right. There was a guy sitting under a tree, reading, RIGHT NEXT TO OUR HONKING VAN! I would have loved to have seen the look on my face when I noticed him there, staring at me, wondering what in the world this crazy lady was doing.
We decided just to go straight home after that. We were done. As we neared our house, I told my daughter my plan to climb out the windows when we got home so we didn’t have to set off the alarm again. (Seriously? Like that wouldn’t have looked a little crazy?!) And as soon as I put the van into park, more honking. By this time, we didn’t even care anymore. We left it there, honking in the driveway for all the neighbors to laugh about, and went inside. By this time, we were just grateful it hadn’t honked all the way home!
So…our girls’ day went a little differently than planned. No shopping…at all. Not even a Walmart run. That’s a big deal! When you drive 200 miles, and you don’t even get to stock up on what you need (we don’t have a Walmart near us), it can be pretty frustrating.
And yet, she and I will both remember this day for a long time. Why? Because though I am not an expert at making good memories from crummy circumstances, I have learned a few things along the way.
Five Keys to Making Good Memories from Crummy Situations:
- Mindset is Everything!–
Yesterday, God gave me the mindset to just laugh! And I am so grateful for that!
I realized, in hindsight, that it could have been extremely frustrating, disappointing, and just plain sad. It is so rare that I get to spend a day with my daughter alone! And it was ruined…except that because I laughed, she laughed.
Because I focused on the humor in it all, she focused on the humor. If I had been mad, or disappointed, she would have been mad and disappointed. But because of our attitudes about it all, we spent a good portion of our day giggling! That’s a good day!
- Be Grateful—
There was so much to be grateful for in the situation. Number one, our van did not break down and we made it home safely, even though our van decided to announce our arrival to the whole town! BONUS! It was like our very own parade after winning the state competition…for most annoying vehicles!
We were also so thankful to have gotten to go out to eat in a restaurant together. Our van didn’t go off the deep end until after we ate. What a blessing!
I realize that our van acting like a moron wasn’t the end of the world, but even in the crummiest situations, there are things for which we can be grateful. Help your child find them. Often, it’s our children who help us find them! Be sure to focus on the good–sometimes you have to look extra hard, but it’s there! Finding the good and being grateful for it will help you make good memories from a crummy situation. It will also help cultivate gratitude in your children!
- One day, you’ll look back on this—
This is really true! As a family, we have taken family trips and tried to make good, solid, lasting memories with our children. And do you know which ones our kids remember? The times when something went wrong. We have stayed in hotels many times and everything goes off without a hitch. My kids don’t remember those.
One time, we rented a little apartment from a “Homeaway” type website. This apartment stated that it was “immaculate” and it was in a tiny little town. We thought it would be perfect having four kids and being able to cook a couple of the meals. Except it wasn’t. It included someone else’s hair in the tub, no sheets on the bed, and…wait for it…someone else’s clog in the toilet! And absolutely no way to get ahold of the owner to fix any of these problems!
My kids still talk about this as the best place they’ve ever stayed because they got to have their own bedrooms!
It was the worst trip we’ve ever been on in so many ways and for so many other reasons, but every time our children laugh about it and talk about how great it was, my husband and I just shake our heads and think, “Clearly, we don’t need to try as hard at giving our kids a nice place to stay!”
If my husband could have thought, “One day, you’ll look back on this and laugh” as he was unclogging a pre-clogged toilet (still almost gag every time I think of that!), well, it maybe would have lightened the mood a bit!
- Life lessons are learned—
When we model how to handle things when life doesn’t go our way, it teaches our children a very important lesson! Life doesn’t always go our way…so what are you going to do when it doesn’t?
When I was in college, my parents came down to visit and they brought my younger cousin along. They were moving some things into my dorm room for me, when they needed something from their suitcase, only to realize neither one had brought it.
My parents looked at each other, laughed and said, “Well, I guess we’ll have to make a Walmart run!”
Years later, my cousin told my mom that that moment had been a game-changer for her. She saw how my parents handled that, not getting angry at each other over it, but basically just saying, “Oops! We both messed up!” and moving on. It stuck with her and was a profound moment in her life.
We don’t know who is watching our responses. But we should know that someone always is! Your response to a crummy situation could teach someone else a profound life lesson!
- Don’t dwell on the money—
This one is hard for me, personally. I like to get a big bang for my buck! So, when I have paid for an experience, and it doesn’t go as planned, I get frustrated easily. My family doesn’t have a lot of extra money to work with and we live on a tight budget, so each dollar has been carefully allotted whenever we go on a trip, or do something that would make memories. I know how frustrating it is when it feels like that money has been wasted!
But take heart! It’s not a waste! It’s really only a waste if you allow it to be. The money has already been spent, either way. It won’t help anything to get mad over it. Believe me when I tell you that I’ve been there and handled things poorly on this front. All it accomplished was that it made a crummy situation…crummier. It made a crummy memory. That was a waste! Instead, if you can turn it around and laugh about it, what you see as a total waste might become one of their greatest memories!
Final Thoughts on Making Good Memories out of a Crummy Situation
Sometimes, it’s easy to make good memories from a crummy situation, and sometimes, it’s more difficult! Yesterday, I wasn’t intentionally choosing to laugh at our situation; it was a natural response. But there are definitely times when my natural response is not to laugh! In fact, in the spirit of honesty, most often, my natural response is frustration. I don’t exactly roll with the punches when things don’t go as planned.
If that sounds like you, cut yourself some slack. It’s hard when things we’ve worked hard to plan go awry. But friend, those are the times that we have to choose to remember these five things, in order to make good memories from a crummy situation. We can do it! We just have to be intentional and turn those lemons into lemonade!
RElated: 5 Keys to Learning to Go with the Flow
