Sometimes, it’s hard to sit back and watch our children falling, or failing, and not rescue them before it happens. We are tempted to rescue them before they even need rescuing. I’ve spoken to this matter before—that it’s important to allow our children to fail sometimes.
There is a flip side to this, though. Our children do need to know that we will do everything we can to rescue them when they need rescuing. I’m not referring to bailing our kids out when they make mistakes, but instead, true rescue.
I’m not a fan of Lauren Daigle, personally, but her song “Rescue” has some powerful lyrics that refer to the willingness of our Heavenly Father to rescue us—“I will send out an army to find you in the middle of the darkest night, it’s true! I will rescue you.”
There is a very fine line between bailing our kids out and rescuing them. I think one of the big differences is that a rescuing our children doesn’t take their consequences away, but rather, saves them from racking up more consequences whereas bailing a child out tends to downplay, if not completely erase the consequences of bad choices.
A few months ago, my son was going with his best childhood friend and his dad for an out of town sleepover. These are people I trust! I had JUST given my son the “Text me an ‘x’ talk” (you know—your child can text X to you and you will find a reason to call him and get him out of the situation he is in, no questions asked). I, never in a million years, would have thought he would need to use it on this trip, but it turned out that there were other guys along who were talking and acting inappropriately. He called me with worry in his voice and said, “It’s an ‘x’, Mom!” I was three hours away.
So, I called my aunt and uncle, who drove 20 minutes to go and get my son. My husband and I jumped in the car and drove 3 hours one way to pick him up. On our way home, we hit a deer and totaled our car.
As frustrating as all of it was—definitely not how we had planned to spend our evening—we knew that we had to prove to our son that we would do what we said we would do. We would send out an army to find him. We would rescue him. And I was so proud of him for choosing not to stay in that situation and “tough it out,” or worse yet, join in! But instead, he chose to do what was best for himself in the situation. He was brave and strong in asking for help.
Today, though, my five things are not about you rescuing your child, but instead, five signs that you, yourself need rescuing. An acquaintance of mine committed suicide two days ago, leaving behind a 12 year-old daughter and a 9 year-old son. Somewhere along the way, she forgot that there were people who would rescue her. I know, without a doubt, that her parents and countless other friends and family would have rescued her. I also know, for a fact, that the Lord would have rescued her. He would have “heard her SOS.” He would have sent out an army to find her in the middle of the darkest night, but my guess is that she didn’t know she needed to be rescued.
Do You Need a Rescue?
Here are five signs that you might need help for your mental health. Please take a hard look at your life and be honest with yourself. I don’t want your children to lose the only mom they have!
- Do you drink alcohol? There are a lot of mixed opinions on this, and many people believe that drinking alcohol is not a problem as long as you’re not getting drunk. Friend, I have seen so many people slide down the slippery slope of alcoholism without ever imagining it could happen to them! For a friend of mine, it started with one glass of wine after a long, hard day. If you immediately jump on the defense at this question, you may already be on that slippery slope. Getting help doesn’t make you weak—it makes you strong! If you are definitely not addicted, there is no better time to quit drinking than before you become addicted!
- Do you have a hard time getting out of bed? Or do you want to sleep a lot throughout the day? This could be a sign of depression. Yes, it may also be because you are up five times a night with a child—there is a difference. I think that if you look hard at yourself, you will know the difference. If you’re not sure, ask someone who loves you and knows you well!
- Do you have a hard time engaging with your children? Do you have a hard time even meeting their basic needs? Y’all depression is real! If you’re feeling so overwhelmed by stress, or life in general, or fatigue that you are ignoring your children, please recognize that as a need for help!
- Do you ever wonder how prescription medication or other non-prescription drugs could make you feel better? Go straight to your doctor! Have a straight-up conversation with him or her about your mental health before you head down the rabbit hole.
- Have you ever wondered if you needed help, but are too afraid of what people might say? I need you to hear me. “They” will talk about you if you show up drunk to work; “they” will talk about you if you become a drug or alcohol addict; and “they” will talk about you if you commit suicide. STOP worrying about what other people will think or say! What if “they” talk about you positively? You have no idea how many people you may inspire by being brave enough to be rescued!
Friend, you are loved by a God who will “never stop marching to reach you in the middle of the hardest fight.” Don’t you want your child to ask for help? You would fight for him and rescue him. God wants you—His child—to ask for help too. He will rescue you!