Y’all! We are officially entering Week 3 of the Be a Better Mom Challenge. Half-way there! After some much needed prayer and rest, I feel back up to the challenge! I’m going to set new goals for this week to learn and support my children’s interests and give you an update on how I’m doing on my Week 1 and Week 2 goals.
I’ll start with a quick update on how I’m crushing okay, cracking my goals! Yeah. Definitely not crushing my goals, but I am making progress! We are doing more fun things as a family. We implemented family pizza party night on Thursday nights. Thursday afternoons, our family makes home-made pizza crust from scratch, top it off, and we all have family pizza night! Last Thursday night, everyone was CRABBY (including me) and our pizza plans were almost thwarted, but we managed to come together so that my kids could learn a “signature dish.”
I have also been more mindful of just making life fun right now in order to keep all of our heads in the game. I have spent more time just talking with our kids, but still not as much as I’d like. And after my post yesterday, I realized that my youngest daughter is not getting the quality time she needs to know she is loved. Goals for this week!
And on that note, on to today’s topic. When my husband and I had our first child, he set the goal of being the kind of dad who does not require his children to take interest in his hobbies in order to spend time with him. Instead, he committed to being the dad who dove headfirst into our children’s interests, going to them to spend time with them instead of the other way around. He has been so good at this! And I could see the importance of him committing to support our children’s interests VERY CLEARLY. Do you see where this is headed?
Any time I see something in someone else, and think, “Oh yeah, you definitely need to be doing that,” God reminds me that, most often,what we see in others is what we need to see in ourselves.
Last night, I got brave. I asked my husband one of those questions that begin with, “Now, this is not a loaded question.” Any time I say that, you can practically see the “fight or flight” instinct taking hold! I asked, “In what ways do you think I could be a better mom?” This poor guy thought so long and hard about it that I had forgotten I asked. He must have known he really had to form his response carefully!
He replied, “Well, I think our sons really need you to take interest in their interests.” Whoa. It didn’t even upset me! (Proof that the Holy Spirit is still working on me!) And he was really, truly, right. I need to support our children’s interests by learning them and diving in!
Earlier this year, I completely miscommunicated with my son. Though I can’t remember what exactly I said, he understood it to mean that I didn’t care about his robotics competition and that I thought it was stupid. I assure you that I didn’t say that, but I obviously said something that could have been construed that way. Even though I don’t feel that way at all, I obviously hurt my son deeply with my poorly chosen words. And after my conversation with my husband last night, I know that the only way I will ever make that up to him is to take an interest in what he loves!
Please hear me out—anything science-based is completely boring to me, not my forte, and not something I’m good at. However, I have done other things in the past to support him. For example, I led a team of kids for the Rube Goldberg Machine challenge and helped my boys build a Christmas tree out of vegetable cans. I can be that mom again! And now, more than ever, I need to be.
That leads me to my new goals. How can I join my children in their interests? This does not just apply to my sons. My daughters have very different interests than I do! I could be selfish and make them do the things I enjoy in order to spend time with me, but I will have a lot of time on my own to do those things after my kids leave. So, right now, I need to support my children’s interests and join them!
Here are Five Reasons It’s Important to Take Interest in Your Kids’ Hobbies (Even When You Don’t Feel Like It):
- You Will Create Meaningful Memories—All, and I do mean ALL of my children’s best memories involve a time when I have joined them in their adventures, hobbies, interests, etc. Just last month, we went sledding as a family. I was the only mom there going down with the kids. One of my daughter’s best memories is when she, I and my other daughter packed onto one sled. My son was going to give us a push, but decided to jump on the back with us. It was hilarious! We flipped and rolled half-way down the hill and we all erupted in giggles! Every family needs more of those moments—there just can never be enough!
- Bonding—Bonds are strengthened through memorable moments. If you create meaningful memories with your children, especially if you are stepping outside your comfort zone to make that happen, your bond will emerge much stronger!
- Your Child Will Feel Important—Think about how you feel when you can teach someone something. We all love to feel valued! Ask your son to show you how to build a cool Lego vehicle; Ask your daughter to paint your nails for you; Let your toddler choose some dress-up clothes for you and watch your child burst with excitement because she feels valued!
- You Set an Example of a Healthy Relationship—Every relationship is give and take. It is important to do things that your husband likes to do, just as it is important that he participates in things you like to do! When you model this to your children, they will see this as a quality to look for in a spouse too. I definitely want my children to expect give and take from their relationships with their spouses!
- You Set an Example of Trying New Things—Perhaps you have a child who is reluctant to step out of his comfort zone. When you join him on an adventure that might be out of your own comfort zone, you set the example that if you try new things, you might find something you like!
I’m adding this to my list of goals! This week, I want my quality time with my children to include joining them in their interests. I’m looking forward to making some lasting memories this week! How about you? Is this something you’re good at? Or are you hoping to work on it?