The Be a Better Mom challenge is wrapping up! How did you do? Did you work on building habits that will help you to be a better mom daily? Can you sustain those habits, whatever comes your way? Sometimes taking it in bite-sized pieces makes it easier. So, these are the five most important things that I hope you took from this challenge—the five things good parents do daily.
I think it’s going to be tricky for me once the calendar starts to fill again, but I plan to whittle away at the activities schedule a bit as well. I have learned something I knew all along (I know that’s paradoxical, but it’s true)—that accountability changes my willingness to meet my goals. So from here on out, I know I need something or someone to hold me accountable for meeting my goals to be a better mom.
Five Things Good Parents Do Daily With Their Kids
- Affirming—
Do you remember Dr. Kathy Koch’s challenge to parents? She asked, “What if the first words your child hears in the morning and the last words your child hears at night are words of affirmation from the Bible? This is a challenge for me that I’m working on. A habit that I want to put in place, but haven’t gotten there yet.
First, I know I need to memorize affirmations from the Bible (You can find a great list here). This is such a good reminder to our kids of who they are in Christ. I can’t say for sure how it will affect your kids, but speaking Scripture to your children will never harm them, so that’s guaranteed!
Right now, your kids have been sheltered in place. This time has hopefully been a time for their roots to grow deeper in their faith, as they have been away from the storm of the world. Imagine how much more important, then, it is for your children to hear these words of affirmation before they go to public school each day, or to a job, or even to a friend’s house. For your child to know that no matter where their feet take them in a day, they can always start and end the day with words straight from the Lord—I get chills thinking about that! Let’s do it!
- Devotions—
Family devotions are incredibly important. Reading the Bible together starts your day off on the right foot, and it sets an example for your children. When your children see you spending time in prayer and reading God’s Word, that also sets a great example for them.
Ideally, your husband would lead your family in devotions. For our family, we need to start the day with our devotions and my husband leaves the house for work by 4:00 am. Kids up at 3:30 am would NOT work! However, there are still ways your husband can lead and participate. For example, my husband keeps his Bible in his lunchbox. Often, he will ask, “Hey! What are you guys reading tomorrow so I can read too?” Or when he comes home, he asks, “So, what did you read about today?” or “What did you learn today?” And then, he also takes a turn sharing with them what he read.
The power of daily devotions is not something you can drill into your kids. They will see it and they will have to choose to do it for themselves. But let me assure you, they do see.
Yesterday, our sons were both having a rough morning. Our oldest son has a job and like almost everyone in the world, he struggles with a co-worker of his. Some of his frustrations are legitimate, and others are just because he’s fifteen and the low man on the totem pole (that’s life, kid!). Anyway, I had encouraged him to pray for his co-worker and I was met with the, “Oh yeah. Prayer solves everything, Mom,” look.
But when he came home, I asked, “How was work?” He said, “Pretty good.” “While I was upstairs building bikes, I just got on my knees and prayed for [his co-worker who shall remain unnamed].”
They are watching. And they are listening. A challenge to be very careful about what we say and do!
- Saying I love you, speaking their language—
You know your child needs to hear, “I love you.” But if you’re not speaking it in their love language, how will they understand you? If you haven’t done so yet, figure out your child’s love language. Dr. Gary Chapman has written a book about it, which you can get here, but if you don’t have the funds for that right now, and your library is still closed, I can give you a tip to at least start to figure it out. It’s usually the way your child shows love to you.
If you have a child who tells you often what a great mom you are—her love language is probably words of affirmation. She needs to hear what a great kid she is! If your child is often hugging you and telling you he loves you—his love language is probably physical touch and affection. Maybe your child wants to be with you, right under your feet at all times or is constantly inviting you to play with her—her love language is probably quality time. If your child gives you little things such as small creations, special toys that he wants you to have, cards and pictures, his love language is probably gifts. And finally, if you have a child who serves others often, especially you—by secretly making your bed or being sure to make her own bed, her love language is probably acts of service.
Figure out their love languages and speak daily to them!
Related: Relate: Speak Your Child’s Love Language
- Setting goals—
Of course, from here on out, I hope you’ll do this for yourself. I hope you’ll take time to set daily goals for what you’d like to accomplish and WRITE THEM DOWN! Argh. I still don’t do this every day. I set goals in my mind, but I don’t write them down every day. Guess what. I rarely miss the mark if I have written it down. If it’s in my mind only, there’s about a 50% chance that I will achieve my goals.
Remember the importance of asking your children to set goals? Yep. It’s the same healthy habit for your kids to do daily as it is for you! Each morning, before you write down your goals, ask them to write theirs too. Then, share your goals with each other and help hold each other accountable toward meeting your goals. (This could be a great conversation to add to your family dinner!)
- Asking forgiveness—
Chances are, as unintentional as it may be, we are making mistakes with our kids daily. It’s something even the best parents do daily! Thankfully, children are quick to forgive, and they learn a lot about relationships when they see their parents apologize and ask forgiveness.
Remember—you’re not going to be a perfect mom…ever…this side of Heaven. What’s important is how you handle your mistakes. Be humble and ask forgiveness. It will build your relationship with your children.
These are my five most important take-aways from this challenge. I’m still going to work on all the other weekly goals I set throughout this time, but these are the five things I want to do every single day with my kids. What do good parents do daily?
RElated: Communicating with Children
