“When I grow up, let me be forgotten.” NO ONE says that! And yet, so many of us feel that’s just what we have become! Is it by choice? After all, I have prayed, “Lord, help me change the world, without ever being noticed.” for an entire year! It sounds so noble. And I am sincere…most of the time. Today, though, I broke down because I am succeeding at not being noticed!
You guys, I haven’t been able to find my tweezers in three days (because apparently I am the only person who can put anything back in its place in this family) and there are hairs on my chin!! I can’t see them, but I know they’re there!
I went to cook myself some eggs…there were none. My husband used the last of them without telling me, though he insists that asking, “How many days a week do you guys usually eat eggs?” is the SAME THING as telling me, “I used all the eggs and we need to buy more!” I think men might actually be from Mars!
Multiple other things happened…and then I snapped! And then what do you think happened? Yep! All of my children quickly started asking me, “What can I do for you, Mom?” as though saying, “you could pick up your dirty laundry off the bathroom floor like I have asked you to so many times before,” would somehow make it all better.
Moms, listen to me—you ARE noticed! The Most High God has taken notice of you. He is King over all other kings (Yes! More important than Prince William!) He loves you and He sees the work you do in silence—all of the invisible work you do each day. And surely, that is enough right?
Yes, in a perfect, Christianese world, it should be enough, but let’s get to the honest stuff and talk about what to do when that knowledge is just not hitting the spot.
Five things you can do when you feel forgotten:
- Phone a friend—
Now, when I say, “Phone a friend,” I mean actually pick up your phone and CALL a friend! Do not text or e-mail (those are last-resort options!) and for the love of Pete, DO NOT whine on social media! This is not the kind of attention you want! Call your friend and talk to her in private! Better yet, find time to get together and chat face-to-face! Chances are, she feels forgotten too. Remind your friend that you see her. She will also help you to remember that you serve a clear purpose as a good friend.
- Skip the housework today—
It will be okay! Housework really pulls us away from more important things, like relationships with our children. Housework feeds the fire of futility because it is never done.
- Do something fun with your kids—
For example, instead of housework, build that solar system your daughter has been wanting to build! Paint a picture! Fly a kite! Build a tower! Have a Nerf war! Are we as present as we need to be? Maybe our children treat us like the maids, because we are acting like maids instead of moms.
- Complete a project—
one that will energize you. During naptime, finish one of the six books you have going right now; use that box of hair dye that has been sitting in your cupboard for…awhile; mend those clothes that have been sitting in a pile; Shave your legs and stop ignoring your unibrow. (Of course, you’ll have to find the tweezers first!) Actually finishing anything will give you a sense of accomplishment…and your husband might take more notice of your eyes if he can actually see them!
- Talk to a Counselor—for real!
If you can’t shake the feeling by doing any of these things, it might be time to speak to a counselor. Ladies, I need you to HEAR me out! You spend every day of your life carrying the burdens and meeting the needs of everyone else. Maybe just one hour a week, (or one hour a month!) you need someone to do the same for you; maybe you just need someone’s undivided attention for one session; or maybe you need someone to actually listen. I would imagine there is great relief in knowing that there are humans on this earth who only need to hear something ONCE! And if you can’t afford to spend that kind of money on yourself, pastors are a great option and are usually free! You can find one and plug into a local church!
Beloved, you are important. God loves you and chose you. He has not forgotten you. You are remembered.
